I love the fact that we have kept our breakfast limited to just the 4 of us. I know our family and friends like to check in on us during the day of E's bday and it's so nice to have them around but there is just something about having that special time all to ourselves. I never feel obligated to invite anyone to join :)
We ended our day with a group of our closest friends and family members meeting us at the cemetery for a balloon release. We have made this a tradition (for sure I can remember it from last year!). Can't wait to see the pictures our photographer took!
It's really hard to put my feelings together into writing about this day. On one hand I to want to talk about how unfair it is to not get to shower him with presents and love and kisses and hugs and birthday spankings and birthday songs and decorations and cookies and cake and cake balls and all those things I love about birthdays.
On one hand I want to talk about how as hard as this day is, I don't want it to be over because it's so nice to hear everyone's memories about him and how his life affects their lives daily.
On one hand I don't even feel like I can complain/cry/whine that he's not here with me because I know that I know that I know where he is. And I look around me at my 2 perfect healthy boys and my wonderful Godly husband and know that even though I have lost much, I still have so much more than some.
On one hand I dread these next 2 weeks because my mind wanders back 4 years and remembers all the tears, shock, fear, depression, disbelief, decisions and goodbyes.
Well, I'm totally out of hands at this point...
No comments:
Post a Comment